Practice makes progress

This week, I've been laser focused on this challenge and I am learning so much. I have done a huge amount of thinking. Enough to make one go insane, but Ive had some really powerful insights. I have  been working on meditation and finding a way to simply SLOW DOWN. Some days are better than others. Ive had some success and some hard days. Im finding that the drive home from work in this shitty weather has a magical way of stealing any positive feelings or thoughts I've experienced through out the day. Im trying to find ways to cope with the negativity creeping back in.  

Something that has helped me feel successful this week is finding a good routine to settle into.

An average day this week looked this this.

430am - Rise and Shine

Walk kaiser

COFFEE

Pull myself together

530 - 700am  - Gym

KILL IT

715 am  - Home

Walk/feed/meds Kaiser

Get ready for work

Make breakfast/lunch/snacks

More coffee

Work emails

9am - 5pm WORK. Blah.

545pm -  Home

Walk Kaiser

Work emails

MEDITATE for 30 Mins.

700pm - Dinner /food prep for next day

730 - 9pm

Read books

Connect with humans !

930pm BED

Ive decided that trying to meditate in the morning just isn't going to work for me at this moment in my life. I already have so many things to take care of before I get to work, finding 30 minutes to stop just and chill isn't comfortable. 

Ive decided that for the time being - exercise in the will be my morning meditation. This is where I am finding my zen moments before the madness of work life sets in.

One of the thoughts that I keep hearing in the podcasts and guided meditations that I coming back to is: Be kind to yourself. BE KIND TO YOURSELF !! In honour of this thought, I have decided to stop with the counting of calories. It has become an added stress and possible obsession that I am putting myself  through that is just not necessary. I do not need to loose more weight. I can focus on my health goals and eat cleanly but there is no need to be so extreme. All counting calories is doing is adding work to my day, another journal to carry around and leaves the opportunity to beat my self up by over analyzing everything Im putting into my body. I just need to stop. This decision alone has lifted a great weight off my shoulders.

Ive been eating really well but noticing that I am still having abdominal discomfort at times and cant quite pin-point what is? I may need to do some elimination testing to figure this out. 

As I focus on doing things in my life with meaning and intention, I was thinking about all the time spent at the gym and my fitness. I want to work towards some kind of goal from this perspective. I've decided to run a half marathon at the end of May. Its something I've talked about doing for years but never followed through with. And just to keep things interesting, not only do I want to finish the half, I want to place in the top 20 for my age group. With three months to train and the current shape I'm in, I believe this is definitely achievable. I also think its the perfect way to wrap up my 90 day challenge as its something to really work towards and look forward to accomplishing.

Being off Facebook is absolutely incredible. I should have unplugged long ago. Being off FB has allowed me to be far more conscious about time spent on devices in general. Ive set a few new boundaries for myself to follow in accordance with this. No more phone in the bedroom and no social media while in the car. Baby steps! Ive even gone so far as to get a library card! The goal is to be immersed in books as opposed to staring at a screen all day and night.  So far, Ive borrowed some books on clean eating, travel through Europe, meditation and practising Buddhism. Now this last part has really come out out left field for me and Im excited to share what Iv'e been doing in this regard.

In all my research on meditation, the topic of buddhism kept popping up. I really liked what I read and decided to investigate further. Last weekend, on Sunday morning after the gym, I went to a Buddhist temple service. Just out of the blue, the thought popped into my head and I recalled driving past the Calgary Buddhist temple in Bridgeland on my way home from work. So I just went for it it. I went in pretty nervous as I had no idea what to expect.  The building had a very chill vibe and the people were all warm and welcoming. It was very open and didn't feel restrictive or judge-y like other organized religions I've experienced previously. There was a lot I didn't understand but what I could connect to was a feeling of peace and ease. At times I was overcome with emotion, it felt natural and healing. I felt as though I'd found place where I can go to shut off for a while and be immersed in something bigger than me and my silly day to day struggles. The Dharma talk put life and all of its darkness into perspective. I really loved it. This experience has spurred some further investigation into buddhist meditation. I want to know  more! In my researching I stumbled across a monastery not too far from my place that hosts public meditation  Wednesday nights. After some communication with one of the monks via email i decided to give it a try.

Thankfully, a good friend decided to come with me at the last minute. We had no idea what we were doing and Im so glad I didn't go alone. Talk about intense and intimidating! We stumbled through it together, we were awkward and felt out of place at first. We started with a walking meditation that was kinda weird at first but eventually we found a groove. After 20 minutes of walking,  the monk said we would be starting the seated meditation and it was to last an hour. Oh wow, were we scared. Neither of us thought we could sit in complete silence for an hour without loosing our minds. I didn't think we were gonna make it, I thought for sure one of us would give up and walk out. In the end we made it through, it actually went by much quicker than I anticipated and I honestly felt very proud that we sat through for the entirety.

After the meditations we moved to the library at sat in a circle with the group. There were about six of us in total and we each took a turn sharing about meditation ,our struggles with it and what we found to be beneficial. We talked about the struggles of daily life in this hectic world. It was a beautiful experience. We also did some chanting of mantras and some singing. The sharing circle turned out to be my favourite part. I think I will find a great wealth of knowledge here and I will most definitely be going back next week. My friend and I left feeling uplifted, positive and chilled right out. 

Im feeling proud of myself for keeping this focus and momentum going. Im already feeling some positive results of living with mindfulness and intention. I feel Ive found some purpose to work towards that will possibly lead me to discover a greater purpose in life. Living with intention, goals and focus - I believe this is the way to fill the empty feeling Ive had for the past few years simply going through the motions of day to day living in this crazy race we call life.

Lastly, I want to send out a big THANK YOU for the amazing responses Ive had to this blog thus far and the positive feedback I'm hearing about the challenge in general. Some of you have shared some fantastic sources with me that I am now using in my daily routine. I'll take all the help I can get. It is reassuring to hear that lots of you are feeling the same way I am with their daily struggles for happiness and a calm mind. Lets keep on this positive track together and keep the sharing going. 

Love you all!!